A Bullet Dance for Two: Underneath the Night Sky of Raccoon City
by StupidityBoy
Summary: Worlds collide when Resident Evil's Leon S. Kennedy and BlazBlue's Noel Vermillion meet in this budding romance story. Will love bloom on this battlefield?


A Bullet Dance for Two: Underneath the Night Sky of Raccoon City

-A Leon x Noel Fan Fiction-

by StupidityBoy

The date was February 6th, 2016. Our hero, Leon S. Kennedy was chilling out in the Raccoon City Taco Bell's drive-tru, waiting to claim the new tacos he had pre-ordered the days prior. But, because of the high demand, he was in line behind many other hungry customers, craving to get also get their hands on Taco Bell's delicious new creation. Feeling restless in his new Honda Accord, Leon took out from his Coleman brand Cooler a perfectly chilled twelve-ounce bottle of Surge soda. Slouching back into the comfortable leather seat of his Honda Accord, Leon twisted the cap off of his Surge soda, which let out a satisfying hiss or carbonation. With a single bold and brash movement, Leon brought the spout of the Surge soda to his tender, delicate, Burt's Bees-chapstick-medicated, lips and began to quench his thirst. "Ah! Nothing beats a cool and refreshing Surge soda on a hot summer day like!" Leon proclaimed loudly while snow continued to pile on the roof on his Honda Accord. But little did Leon know that this wasn't going to be a hot summer day, but rather a DEAD summer day. Get it? It's because there's going to be zombies.

Suddenly, a realistic blood-covered hand struck the driver's seat window of Leon's Honda Accord. Leon, fazed by the realism of the realistic blood, jumped back, almost spilling his Surge soda, but then got his shit together, and began to roll down his blood-smeared window. Leon looked down from inside his car at the ground and saw that there laid a man in a white dress shirt covered in blood and his glasses were covered in blood and his hands were covered in blood and his face was covered in blood and his tighty-whiteys were covered in blood. "P-p-please… listen to my tale" the man quietly whispered, "I… don't have much time left. We've made a terrible mistake. It was supposed to be a contained experiment, but it all went wrong… the T-Virus… it got out to the public… and now… all of Raccoon City is doomed…" the man began to cough up blood all over Leon's Honda Accord's sweet rims. He slowly looked up at Leon, with the colors from his eyes slowly fading, "Run… before it's too late…" and with that, the man took his final breath as he closed his eyes and laid his head down against the crisp winter snow. "OH SHIT" Leon shouted, "I HAVE TO GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE." Leon grabbed the steering wheel and was about to step on the gas, until a thought made him stop in place, as if time had come to a halt. "What about my tacos? I can't leave without getting those new Taco Bell tacos." Leon put his Honda Accord in park, turned off the engine, and stepped out of his car. "My god…" Leon looked around and everywhere he looked there were zombies. He was already surrounded.

"I need to find refuge, FAST" Leon thought to himself. "I can kill two birds with one stone if I hideout in that Taco Bell!" and with that, Leon darted to the drive-tru window of the Taco Bell. "Good thing I'm wearing my Yeezy 750 Boosts, giving me the leverage I need to run THIS FAST." Leon ran really fast. Faster than a lion, faster than a jet, even faster than Sonic the Hedgehog, and unbelievably, even faster than my Sonic OC, Crystal Heart the Hedgehog. Crystal Heart is the daughter of Silver and Amy and was trained under Sonic in the hyperbolic time chamber from Dragonball Z, so that's why even though she is young and beautiful, she is really, really fast, which is why I say it is so unbelievable that Leon was able to be faster than her thanks to his stupid fucking hobo shoes. Before a zombie could slap his behind, Leon jumped straight through the drive-tru window like a thread through a needle and landed on his side, with one leg bent and his head resting on his arm. He looked up and cradled his head on his open palm, and with a rose in his mouth sensually said, "I'll take YOU to go" and winked. There, in front of him, was a young blonde girl, wearing a Taco Bell uniform, who was one part terrified due to the zombie outbreak, and another part sexual aroused due to the clutch performance that Leon had just performed. Speechless, the girl began to shyly stutter, "W-w-would you like a drink with that?" Leon got up and laughed. "I have a coupon." The two began to laugh heartily together, very loudly, attracting more zombies towards the Taco Bell.

"My name is Noel Vermillion," the blonde girl said with a smile on her face, "What is yours?" Leon was shocked. "My name is Leon Scott Kennedy, an officer with the Raccoon City Police Department. I'm here to get the tacos I preordered." Noel saw the hunger in Leon's eyes. She knew that man would do anything to get his hands on Taco Bell's new taco. "Let me go check the list for your name. I'll be right back" Noel explained as she walked behind the corner to check the clipboard hung against the wall. Leon was shocked. After a few moments, Noel returned, with the clipboard in hand. "Yep, your name is right here, you ordered five of them, right?" Leon was shocked. "Let me go make them for you, go wait in the dining area and I'll bring them out to you." Leon was shocked. Leon walked over to the dining area and took a seat at one of the tables. Zombies began to violently pound on the glass windows surrounding the dining area. Cracks began to creep across the glass as the zombies' moans of pain and anger began to leak through. As more and more zombies began to surround the Taco Bell, the hoard would press more and more against the windows, slowly but surely beginning to break the only thing keeping them from ripping Leon apart. Leon was unfazed. Feeling a tad impatient, Leon began to tap his foot. As he listened to the sounds of Noel preparing his tacos, he decided he needed something to help him pass the time. Looking for the first thing in sight, he picked up a Taco Bell napkin to read the text on it, except there was none. Leon was shocked.

"Soup's on!" Noel happily cheered as she waltzed into the dining area, with a tray of Leon's tacos in hand. "This is called a quesalupa!" she proclaimed proudly. "Wowee!" Leon said giddily, "What is it exactly?" Noel's expression went blank. She had no idea what the hell a quesalupa was, but she did not want to disappoint Leon. "Uhh…" she began to sweat profusely, "Umm… why don't you just try it and find out?" Leon however, was a picky eater and began to pout, "I don't wanna!" He hunched over in his chair and angrily crossed his arms. Noel began to sweat even more, at an inhuman rate. It was really nasty. She nervously asked, "What do you mean? Why won't you try the quesalupa? Did I do it wrong or something?" Leon would not back down. He looked at Noel and declared, "I DON'T WANNA." Noel realized what was going on and felt like she was not being paid enough for this bullshit. She slammed her hand on the table, looked at Leon disapprovingly and said "Leon. Eat the food you ordered." Leon, trying to avoid Noel's sharp glare, looked away and yelled "NO!" and then puffed his cheeks. Noel was annoyed. She leaned in closer towards Leon and sternly said. "Leon, if you don't eat the food you ordered, I won't get you any cinnamon twists." Leon looked up in fear. Noel knew exactly how he operated, almost as if she was reading his mind. With Taco Bell's delicious cinnamon twists at stake, now available for one dollar at a Taco Bell near you, he knew that he was fighting a losing battle. But, being the man he was, he knew he couldn't back down from such a lit deal. Leon got up from his chair and walked towards the counter as Noel's gaze followed. Leon stood there next to the counter, back straight, arms down. Motionless. Speechless. He did absolutely nothing. Noel, concerned, began to approach Leon. "Leon… can you just eat your food? It tastes good so you don't-." Suddenly, Leon got down on the ground and began flailing his arms and legs as he rolled back and forth as he screamed out "I DON'T WANNA, I DON'T WANNA!" over and over. Noel, more concerned over Leon's safety at this point, approached Leon with her hand out to try to calm him down. "Leon, please. If you don't want your quesalupas, then what do you want? I'll get you anything." Leon grabbed Noel's outstretched hand and pulled her towards him. "Kya~!" Noel shrieked as she fell onto Leon's super muscular chest. She looked up at Leon's chiseled chin as Leon began to lean in close. He brought his tender lips towards Noel's ear as he brushed back her hair and whispered, "You…"

Noel, flustered, pushed back Leon and stood back up. "W-w-what are you saying" she yelled as she backed up shyly, almost tripping over a table. Leon got back up and looked towards Noel with passion in his eyes. Suddenly, he pulled back his arms, looked up towards the ceiling and yelled, "GIE OOOOH!" And with that, from under his leather faux fur coat, which you can get from retailers online, Leon's Millennium Puzzle began to glow and flail about. Napkins and paper waste began to fly around the room as Noel shielded herself from the winds being created from the force of Leon's Millennium Puzzle. The eye symbol depicted on the puzzle began to glow atop Leon's forehead, and as it faded away Leon looked back down, and brought his arms back to rest, except his eyes were now dead serious. Leon spoke. "Noel." Noel was flustered, "Y-y-y-yes?" "Can you… reheat those quesalupas?" Noel expression went grim. "Yeah, sure." She took Leon's tray of quesalupas and walked them over to the kitchen, where she reheated them.

Leon and Noel sat together at the dining room table. Leon was happily enjoying his quesalupas while Noel snacked on Leon's cinnamon twists. "Boy oh boy!" Leon said with boyish glee, "I can see why you guys only let people preorder 5 of these at a time!" He dug into his fifth quesalupa. "Yeah. They're good I guess. You can get your own Taco Bell quesalupa for only $2.99 or in a combo with a large drink and crunchy taco or your choice of a soft taco or nacho for only $4.99 starting February 9th at participating Taco Bell locations." Noel said disappointingly, but in her heart she knew that this was an incredible meal and an incredible deal. Leon looked up confused, with cheese and grease all over his mouth and chin. "What's up? Did you want one too?" Noel looked back at Leon angrily. "No. I don't want one" but she actually really did want one. Leon, confused, considered responding, but instead looked back down and began to eat his quesalupa again like a dog. Noel got out of her chair and headed towards the counter. "I'm going to go use the bathroom." Leon looked up. "Woof, woof." He began to pant heavily. Noel ignored this and went into the bathroom. She entered the employee bathroom, pulled down her pants, sat down on the toilet and began to rip huge ass. Noel was conflicted. "Stupid Leon" she thought "Do you really care about tacos that much? What about me?" She began to violently shake her head as she continued to poop out an endless stream of feces. "Wait a minute! What am I saying? I don't care about that stupid cop!" She looked down at the tiled bathroom floor, now covered in shit that had leaked over the lid of the toilet because she never flushed. Her new Nike Flyknit Air Max women's running shoes were straight up ruined. Then quietly she said to herself, "Who cares if he likes tacos more than me…" A single tear rolled down her cheek and dripped off her chin, splashing into a puddle of poo poo toilet water.

Noel didn't flush the toilet or wash her hands. Looking back, I don't even think she wiped. She had too much on her mind. As Noel entered the dining hall, she was readying herself for more of Leon's bullshit, but to her surprise, she couldn't find Leon. "Leon?" There was no response. Noel felt a heaviness overcome her body. She was afraid. Where was Leon? "Leon!" she yelled. She heard a shrill voice from the corner. "No… Noel…" It was Leon. Noel felt relieved. "Leon! Oh good. I thought something had happened to you." She began to approach Leon, who was huddled up in the corner, hiding his face. "No… please" Leon pleaded painfully "stay… away… I'm not safe anymore… I'm… turning." Noel was shocked, like actually shocked, not like "Leon was shocked" shocked, but an actual reaction kind of shocked. Noel despite her fear approached Leon. "Leon…" Noel began to reach towards Leon. "NO!" Leon shouted as he shot out his hand pushing Noel back. "Please! I… don't want you to get hurt… I don't want you see what I've become… I… I need to end my life before it's too late…" Noel got up and to Leon's surprise, hugged him from behind. Overcome with emotion she began to speak. "Leon… I want to be there for you. No matter what you've become, I'll always lik-" Noel, embarrassed by what she was just about to say covered her mouth and backed up, but it was clear to both Leon and herself what she was about to say. Leon, touched by Noel's words looked up, still facing the corner. "Noel… do you really mean what you said?" Noel, now a flushed red from embarrassment, struggled to speak, but worked up the courage and said "L-Leon… I…I'll like you no matter what you become." Despite not being able to see his face, Noel could feel the heat of embarrassment coming from Leon. The two sat in silence, well except for the sound of the zombies about to break the glass, but whatever who even gives a shit about that stuff lol. Leon then spoke. "Noel. I'm going to turn around. Please. Tell me how far I've turned. I can still think straight, but… I don't know how much time I have left, but if it looks like it's too late, then please… end my life." Tears began to roll down Noel's face. "I will… I promise." With that, Leon began to turn around and face Noel. Noel caught a glimpse of Leon's face, but couldn't believe it herself. She was struck with fear. The progress was worse than she had expected. "Woof." Leon was turning into a furry.

"When did it happen?" Noel asked. "I'm not sure myself." Leon responded. "Maybe it started while you were reheating my quesalupas. Maybe it was while you were in the bathroom. Either way, here we are now…" Noel knew that Leon was past saving, but she knew that she couldn't just give up. She had to fight. "Leon, come with me." The Noel dragged Leon by his furry paw and they entered the kitchen. Noel tried to move fast, but Leon was limp. He had already given up. "Noel, what are you doing? It's too late for me… don't let me drag you down." Noel looked towards Leon. "You… you're not dragging me down. You'll never be a burden to me." Leon began to blush. Noel rested Leon on an IKEA brand FINGAL swivel office chair as she began to frantically search for something she could use to help Leon. "There's got to be something!" Noel said desperately. Leon watched as Noel practically tore apart the kitchen searching for some kind of answer. "There's got to be something… I can do." Leon attempted to move, but the fur began to weigh him down. "No. It's too late for me…" Leon thought. His eyelids felt heavy as he slowly closed his eyes. As all he saw was darkness, his consciousness began to fade.

Leon was lying in an empty void. He had nowhere left to go. He had no reason to move. He had no reason to keep on going. "I… am going to become a furry.., aren't I?" He felt his mind beginning to comprehend less and less as he thought began to be replaced with thoughts about yiffing. All that was left for Leon was darkness. With the last of his energy and humanity Leon thought to himself, "I'll go down quietly…" Leon began to sink into the void, slowly fading away. First his feet, then his legs, then his HUGE penis, then his arms and chest, then all until only his head remained. He looked up. "If only… if only I could see Noel… one last time." He closed his eyes as he braced himself for consumed by the void.

Until suddenly, a voice rung throughout his ears:

"W-w-would you like a drink with that?"

"N-Noel?" Leon said as he opened his eyes. There in front of him was the image of Noel, when they had first met not too long ago. A rush of nostalgia filled Leon body as a stream of tears came flooding out. "NOEL!" he screamed as with all his might he began he force himself out of the void. "NOEL!" he screamed as he pulled his arm out of the void, reaching towards Noel's beautiful voice. "NOEL!" he screamed as he pulled his body from the void, reaching towards Noel's warm smile. "NOEL!" he screamed as he released himself from the void, floating towards the bright light of his life: Noel. "NOEL!" he screamed "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DRINK?"

Leon opened his eyes. He was back in the Taco Bell. He looked at his hands. He still was turning into a furry. He watched as Noel still continued to search for some kind of answer. "I… need to do something…" He struggled to stand up, legs and body convulsing from the effort. Noel noticed and yelled "Leon!" As Leon fell over, crashing into a counter, Noel came to his side. "Leon… are you okay?" Leon looked towards Noel with a smile on his face. "Noel… you really didn't give up on me… where my drink?" A thought suddenly came to Noel. "That's it!" she proclaimed! She fireman carried Leon over to the front counter. "Leon." Noel said sternly "what have you consumed today?" Leon thought about it. "Well. I had a pizza, a few Surge sodas, five quesalupsa, and some cinnamon twists, why do you ask?" Noel put her hand on her forehead and nodded in disappointment. "Leon! You need to drink some water! You're dehydrated!" Leon was confused. "Dehydrated?" "Yes. Dehydrated." Noel went to the drink fountain and filled a cup with water. "Leon, you've only been drinking soda this whole time, but you haven't had a single glass of water all day!" Leon was still confused. "I'm not thirsty though, I'm just really hungry, what this does have to do with-." Noel interrupted him. "Leon, many times people confuse the feeling of hunger with the feeling of thirst! Sugary drinks are no substitute for proper hydration! Here. Have a cup of water." Leon slowly tried to lift his arms, but couldn't. Leon looked up towards Noel. "Noel. If you would, please." Noel realized what she had to do and began to blush. "Well... if I must." She brought the cup of water to Leon's mouth and tilted it as Leon began to drink. "It's… it's not like I'm doing this because I like you or anything." Leon got a raging boner from the tsundere. As he finished the cup of water, Leon felt the furry reverting. "Noel! It's working! I'm turning back! Quickly! Give me another cup of water!" Noel smiled. "Right away, sir!" The servant/master relationship gave Leon another boner.

As Leon finished the second cup of water, the furry that once overtook his body had completely reverted. Leon was once again fully human. "Noel! You did it! I'm back to normal! I guess it really was because I was dehydrated!" Leon said while jumping with glee. "Make sure to drink six to eight 8-ounce glasses of water a day throughout the day, but the amount of water an individual should drink can vary from person to person! Proper hydration is the key having the energy you need to get through the day!" Noel noted. The two embraced in each other's arms. They looked into each other's eyes. "Noel…" "Leon…" the two closed their eyes as their lips began to approach one another's. "Leon… I love you." "I… love you too." But then suddenly all of the glass in the dining area shattered, bringing in a flood of T-virus infected zombies. The two jumped and hugged one another. "OH SHIT" Leon yelled "Who knew this would have happened?!" Leon reached toward his leg, but with no avail. "Damn! I forgot my gun in my Honda Accord!" Noel looked down at herself. "I'm in a Taco Bell uniform. I would not be able to have my guns on me." Leon looked over at Noel. "What? You have guns?" Noel looked back. "Yeah, they're fuckin' rad. They're like as big as my arm and I dual wield them like it's nothing." Leon smirked. "That's not as big as my gun." Leon then began to thrust his pelvis in the air while waving his arms towards and away from his dick. "Oh my." Noel said as she blushed and smiled. Despite the intense sexual tension, the zombies began to rush the counter. "Welp. We're dead." Leon proclaimed. Leon and Noel closed their eyes and braced themselves in each other's arms.

They waited… and waited… but nothing happened. "Hey, what gives?" a voice complained. They opened their eyes. Noel was confused. "What?" The zombies were all in line. Leon looked at the zombie in front, who looked quite impatient despite having half his face ripped off and crawling with maggots. "How is this possible? You guys are infected with the T-Virus!" The zombie chuckled. "Yeah, we all have the T-Virus, you guys too!" "WHAT?" Noel and Leon yelled. "Yeah!" the zombie said happily. "The TACO-Virus!" Noel and Leon both looked at each other. "OOOHH!" The zombie put his hands on his waist. "Yep. We all have the T-Virus, and we're all craving…" in unison the zombie hoard all raised their hands and yelled, "TACOS!" The zombie leaned against the counter towards Noel. "And the taco that we want… is the new quesolupa!" The zombie hoard cheered. Leon was smiling. "Isn't this great Noel? They just want quesolupas!" He looked over at Noel. She was not smiling. "What's wrong" Leon asked. Noel said aloud, "I'm sorry, but you need to have pre-ordered the quesolupa to buy one." The zombie hoard went silent, then in unison they all went, "Aww…" and began to walk away. Leon leaned over towards Noel. "Noel, there must be something you can do… look how sad they are!" Noel thought about it. "Well, I can't just let you guys buy quesolupas, I have to follow company guidelines." The zombie hoard was still disappointed and continued to walk away. "But…" the zombies turned their heads towards Noel. "We have a promotion going on that you can buy a quesolupa if you buy a medium drink as well!" The zombie hoard was in uproar and began to line up again. "Fine by us!" Noel looked at Leon. Leon looked at Noel. They began to laugh. Leon put his hand on Noel's shoulder. "Well Noel, it looks like it's back to business! But this time… together." Noel smiled "Yep!" And with that she turned her attention to the first zombie in line and with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes she happily said, "Hello, welcome to Taco Bell, may I take your order?"

-The End-


End file.
